Stuck in the North / Inland

Are you a sad pathetic loser who cannot muster up the inner-pirate to find a way to the warmer climes in order to surf, fish, sail, booze or gaze a sunsets (read: bikinis)? Well, so are we, generally it is best to focus on all the of the bad sides of coastal and offshore activities, such as the costs, barnacles, constant cleaning and of course, sharks. Let is be known that the staff of Nautics do not consider sharks to be a drag on the ocean life, but are respectful of the globo-phobia of sharks. Our suggestion to those of you posessing no airline tickets to anywhere south of Hatteras for the next few months is to look over the lovely Shark attack map at Discovery.com - while a giant icicle may fall from a skyscraper and pierce you like a green olive at a martini bar - you do not have to worry about spending your last minutes gripped to a bell-bouy screaming while a toothy bastard tears you from limb to limb.

Shark Attack Map